Foundations of Utopia

Foundations of Utopia

Free ice cream stores, recess all day, and no divorce. This is a partial list that the bright-eyed ten year olds in front of me were scribbling on their brainstorming papers. I worked with this lively bunch as part of a special program in college. With several other students, I visited local classrooms and encouraged the children to stretch their minds in crazy ways. One of our projects was creating a personalized utopia. Unlimited access to various desirable things figured prominently. Then there was that somber restriction—mom and dad wouldn’t be splitting up in this utopia. Selfish little creatures, huh? Of course not. Every child deserves the comfort and confidence of a stable family.
I am sure there are numerous studies on why the divorce rate is so high. Surely almost everyone who has gone through a divorce, wishes that they had made different choices or that life hadn’t dealt the cards they got. Divorce hurts men and women, as well as children. You don’t need a scientific study to measure hurt. It is everywhere around you, lying awake at night, sitting on bar stools, plodding through the daily grind, nursing wounds and grudges, staring blankly at a rain soaked sky, forever looking for true love and acceptance. While there are certainly some couples that have ended up together with disastrous results and need to be apart, solid marriage is really foundational to society, and should be encouraged.
People have a hard time with fidelity in marriage when they have grown used to unlimited gratification before marriage. Since many break-ups are the result of infidelity, my instinctive response is that we need to revisit the biblical concept of sex as sacred gift.
There are those who are sure that the recent rise in teen pregnancy must be the result of “kill-joy” abstinence programs. This is illogical. The aim of these programs is to instill in young people accountability and self-control, along with a deep sense of self worth and respect for themselves as intelligent, sexual beings. Yet, it is hard to overcome the tidal wave of promiscuity themes in the movies, high-profile presidential and super-star “improprieties,” along with magazine covers and TV ads that deliver a push-me-pull-you of promises for satisfying sexual encounters, advice on gaining the perfect body, and treating certain uncomfortable conditions.
The over-all cultural message is that sex, “any way you want it, that’s the way you need it,” is a foundational freedom. Some think that greater access to abortion and prophylactics is the answer to the problem of promiscuity. But broken relationships result in depression, distrust, anger, and diminished self-worth. There is no pharmaceutical answer to this pain. Heart, mind and soul need protection. Encouraging self-control, fostering a sense self worth and great respect for our bodies in the wonderful way God made them—this is the way to true healing. “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife; and the two of them become one body. The man and his wife were both naked yet they felt no shame.” Gen. 2:24-25