Kindness

"Fill me at daybreak with your kindness, O Lord, that I might shout with joy and gladness all the days of my life."

Somewhere in the late eighties or early nineties, rude became fashionable. Little bunnies saying "bite me" or "you're stupid, I'm not" popped up on teenagers' t-shirts. The acid tongue became the normal communication among professional, upward movers as well as family members. Perhaps sarcasm has always been the fare of comedy, but courtesy in daily life has gone out the window. This is not a good thing.

Some of this is sanctioned by an attitude of putting oneself, one's needs and desires first, lest one come out with less than the biggest piece of the pie. It used to be a given that the last piece of pie would stay forever, because no one wanted to be the pig. Now the hero is the one who reaches in a grabs the last piece for himself. The liberated person is the one who speaks his mind, regardless of the feelings of those around him.

Kindness-- it seems a simple offering, but sometimes it is the hardest thing to offer. I really want to walk in kindness. I would love to never have an angry word for another human being. I want to drive down the street, see the poor driving maneuver of another motorist, and think, "That poor person must be having a bad day," or even whisper a blessing upon them. I desire with all my heart to never raise my voice against my children. I want to give everyone the benefit of doubt, no matter how they present themselves. I do not want to ever gossip at the expense of another. These things are not easy. And too often I lapse to the default mode of "how dare you confront me!" or "isn't it delightful that this or that person has made a complete fool of herself, mostly because it makes me look so good."

We have a fairly high degree of proactive kindness in our world today. Everyone really wants to reach out and help others in hardship. Unfortunately, we have a low degree of reactive kindness. People tend to bristle like harassed hedgehogs when crossed. This is where the challenge lies.

I would like to be a part of breaking this attitude of rudeness. I think it means I must hand over my needs in favor of others. A lot of times, what we tacitly think of as a "need" is not a necessity at all. I don't need to have the last word in an argument. I don't need to vent on unknown motorists. I don't need to yell at the kids. I don't need the last piece of pie, or even the first if there is someone else out there who needs it more. I don't need to participate in trash talk about some other poor soul.


Kindness doesn't mean lying down as a doormat for every user out there. It means seeing people always as God sees them. It means listening, responding, putting others first. If the added benefit is joy and gladness which is inner peace, who loses?