Tú has venido a la orilla,
no has buscado ni a sabios ni a ricos;
tan sólo quieres que yo te siga.
Estribillo
Señor, me has mirado a los ojos,
sonriendo has dicho mi nombre,
en la arena he dejado mi barca,
junto a ti buscaré otro mar.
Tú sabes bien lo que tengo;
en mi barca no hay oro ni espadas,
Tan sólo redes y mi trabajo.
Tú necesitas mis manos,
mi cansancio que a otros descanse,
Amor que quiera seguir amando.
Tú, pescador de otros lagos,
ansia eterna de almas que esperan,
amigo bueno, que así me llamas.
Lord, you have come to the seashore,
neither searching for the rich nor the wise,
desiring only that I should follow.
Refrain
O, Lord, with your eyes set upon me,
gently smiling, you have spoken my name;
all I longed for I have found by the water,
at your side, I will seek other shores.
Lord, see my goods, my possessions;
in my boat you find no power, no wealth.
Will you accept, then, my nets and labor?
Lord, take my hands and direct them.
Help me spend myself in seeking the lost,
returning love for the love you gave me.
Lord, as I drift on the waters,
be the resting place of my restless heart,
my life's companion, my friend and refuge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APKvYvGPEmU&feature=related
Thursday, December 2, 2010
What God Hath Joined Together
What’s the big deal with marriage? Why bother getting married? Society no longer frowns upon cohabitation and there is no stigma with bearing children outside of wedlock. Quite frankly, most marriages end in divorce anyway, so why not save the trouble, and when you meet someone you connect with, just share bills and a roof until it doesn’t work anymore. Skip all the scary “promise forever” stuff. Some people spend thousands of dollars on a celebration of their love, only to have that romance crash and burn a few years later. The white dress, the fancy cake—what does it all mean? Well, nothing, nowadays-- because we have totally lost track of the meaning of marriage.
Deep in preparations for my oldest daughter’s wedding day, I am confronted with MSN’s oddly cynical series of marriage articles. Once upon a time, writes one author, marriage made sense. This author, an unmarried young sage, speculates that marriage was a worthwhile institution back when brides needed financial security, and some way to make the fathers of their children stick around. She figures that now that premarital sex is no longer taboo, and women are capable of adequate income, marriage is really a superfluous custom. In addition she cites an anthropologist who has discovered that humans are not meant to be in long-term, monogamous relationships, but are rather suited to 3-4 year commitments. (Your average three-year old is smarter than this. Children know that they deserve a mom and dad unit all the while they are growing up.) This author dismisses any faith-based considerations of marriage without discussion, simply because our society is now predominantly secular.
I have no answer for the self-centered secularist. I read these types of articles and just draw a blank, because I am looking at this thing called marriage from a whole different plane of existence. Marriage is an enigma in which one plus one is greater than two. Marriage is a man and woman working out an ongoing relationship in which children can be brought into the world in a safe, nurturing environment for the good of themselves and all of society. Strong marriages make strong families which are the building blocks of strong societies and nations. This is not an anti-romance attitude. Indeed, eros is a gift from God that gives birth to something greater. Transcendentally speaking, the loving union of a man and woman is a reflection of God’s love for them and for all humanity.
The wedding is a Christ centered event, not a bride centered event. The life journey these two young people are about to embark on is not simply about two people in love, but about two young people in love who recognize God as the indispensable center of their lives. The Christian couple knows they are not perfect, that there will be storms to weather, but they have an eye to something greater than their immediate happiness. They find their ultimate fulfillment not in each other, but in Christ. This sense of giving it up to God, actually creates a freedom within a relationship that fosters a romance that rises beyond the constraints of the world and matures into a deep, lasting contentment.
”… from this union of souls by God's decree, a sacred and inviolable bond arises. Hence the nature of this contract…, makes it entirely different both from the union of animals entered into by the blind instinct of nature alone … and also from the haphazard unions of men...” Pius XI, Castii Cannubi.
There is a lot of talk about finding a soul-mate these days. I think this is why people don’t get marriage any more. They are longing for that one person with whom they will connect completely. This is not a myth. We do have a soul-mate. Jesus Christ is our soul-mate. When He is allowed in a marriage, He is the bond that keeps couples together.
Deep in preparations for my oldest daughter’s wedding day, I am confronted with MSN’s oddly cynical series of marriage articles. Once upon a time, writes one author, marriage made sense. This author, an unmarried young sage, speculates that marriage was a worthwhile institution back when brides needed financial security, and some way to make the fathers of their children stick around. She figures that now that premarital sex is no longer taboo, and women are capable of adequate income, marriage is really a superfluous custom. In addition she cites an anthropologist who has discovered that humans are not meant to be in long-term, monogamous relationships, but are rather suited to 3-4 year commitments. (Your average three-year old is smarter than this. Children know that they deserve a mom and dad unit all the while they are growing up.) This author dismisses any faith-based considerations of marriage without discussion, simply because our society is now predominantly secular.
I have no answer for the self-centered secularist. I read these types of articles and just draw a blank, because I am looking at this thing called marriage from a whole different plane of existence. Marriage is an enigma in which one plus one is greater than two. Marriage is a man and woman working out an ongoing relationship in which children can be brought into the world in a safe, nurturing environment for the good of themselves and all of society. Strong marriages make strong families which are the building blocks of strong societies and nations. This is not an anti-romance attitude. Indeed, eros is a gift from God that gives birth to something greater. Transcendentally speaking, the loving union of a man and woman is a reflection of God’s love for them and for all humanity.
The wedding is a Christ centered event, not a bride centered event. The life journey these two young people are about to embark on is not simply about two people in love, but about two young people in love who recognize God as the indispensable center of their lives. The Christian couple knows they are not perfect, that there will be storms to weather, but they have an eye to something greater than their immediate happiness. They find their ultimate fulfillment not in each other, but in Christ. This sense of giving it up to God, actually creates a freedom within a relationship that fosters a romance that rises beyond the constraints of the world and matures into a deep, lasting contentment.
”… from this union of souls by God's decree, a sacred and inviolable bond arises. Hence the nature of this contract…, makes it entirely different both from the union of animals entered into by the blind instinct of nature alone … and also from the haphazard unions of men...” Pius XI, Castii Cannubi.
There is a lot of talk about finding a soul-mate these days. I think this is why people don’t get marriage any more. They are longing for that one person with whom they will connect completely. This is not a myth. We do have a soul-mate. Jesus Christ is our soul-mate. When He is allowed in a marriage, He is the bond that keeps couples together.
Prosper the Work of our Hands
“Prosper the work of our hands, Lord.” I don’t think this line from the psalms is asking God for wealth. Many gage the successfulness of life by the amount and quality of stuff accumulated. The centuries following Christ have produced a treasury of “show, don’t tell” illustrations of what is the measure of true success--giving it all, time and money, away. Here are just a few of my favorite stories.
In the fifth century, the daughter of a slave and an Irish chieftain handed her father’s ceremonial sword over to a beggar. This act greatly disturbed her father, who marked it as the final straw in her free and easy manner with his wealth. He sent her off to serve her uncle and, after nursing her dying mother, she persuaded her uncle turn her loose. She spent the rest of her life traversing medieval Ireland, setting up communities of women devoted to serving the spiritual and physical needs of the impoverished. Born into slavery, she didn’t waste time moping about her circumstance. She poured every last drop of life she had into serving Christ. This is Brigid of Kildare
In the 13th century, Elizabeth of Hungary lived a royal life of service. Having been born and married into the upper classes, she spent her days feeding the poor, and working in a hospital she had built. Any spare time she spent in prayer. She was one of many good rulers of this age, who took the gospel to heart and did not allow status to confine their ability to serve Christ through the poor.
When a man escaped his hellish life in a Nazi death camp in 1941, ten men were to pay the price for his freedom by slow starvation. One man was anguished over his wife and children. Nazi ears were deaf to his pleas, but another prisoner stepped forward immediately to take his place. He was Maximilian Kolbe, a Franciscan priest, incarcerated for concealing Jews in his monastery. After having spent his whole life evangelizing through every means of media, he offered himself up in a final gesture of agape. The horror of inhumane imprisonment did not dull the shine of his love for God and God’s people.
In 1865 the emancipation act released the African Americans of the Deep South. The freed slaves’ lives were not easy and one man donated the rest of his life to giving them a solid foundation with which to take their new place in society. Booker T Washington built an academy and worked tirelessly to give his people the best practical and academic tools for life as freedmen. Thousands of slaves graduated to a productive life. Always, he referred to his Christian faith as his focus and goal in life.
In the early 1920s a young, bohemian agnostic acquired a back alley abortion that broke her heart, the cap on her morally feeble lifestyle. Although her life was devoted to social justice, she was operating outside of any bond with Christ. Later she came to believe that "worship, adoration, thanksgiving, supplication ... are the noblest acts of which we are capable in this life." She continued to work for the poor in New York City, establishing various organizations, some of which remain in operation today. Dorothy Day was brave enough to shake free of the bonds of secularism and offer her work over to Christ.
“Fill us at daybreak with your kindness,
that we may shout for joy and gladness all our days…
prosper the work of our hands for us, Lord.
Prosper the work of our hands!” Psalm 90:14-17
In the fifth century, the daughter of a slave and an Irish chieftain handed her father’s ceremonial sword over to a beggar. This act greatly disturbed her father, who marked it as the final straw in her free and easy manner with his wealth. He sent her off to serve her uncle and, after nursing her dying mother, she persuaded her uncle turn her loose. She spent the rest of her life traversing medieval Ireland, setting up communities of women devoted to serving the spiritual and physical needs of the impoverished. Born into slavery, she didn’t waste time moping about her circumstance. She poured every last drop of life she had into serving Christ. This is Brigid of Kildare
In the 13th century, Elizabeth of Hungary lived a royal life of service. Having been born and married into the upper classes, she spent her days feeding the poor, and working in a hospital she had built. Any spare time she spent in prayer. She was one of many good rulers of this age, who took the gospel to heart and did not allow status to confine their ability to serve Christ through the poor.
When a man escaped his hellish life in a Nazi death camp in 1941, ten men were to pay the price for his freedom by slow starvation. One man was anguished over his wife and children. Nazi ears were deaf to his pleas, but another prisoner stepped forward immediately to take his place. He was Maximilian Kolbe, a Franciscan priest, incarcerated for concealing Jews in his monastery. After having spent his whole life evangelizing through every means of media, he offered himself up in a final gesture of agape. The horror of inhumane imprisonment did not dull the shine of his love for God and God’s people.
In 1865 the emancipation act released the African Americans of the Deep South. The freed slaves’ lives were not easy and one man donated the rest of his life to giving them a solid foundation with which to take their new place in society. Booker T Washington built an academy and worked tirelessly to give his people the best practical and academic tools for life as freedmen. Thousands of slaves graduated to a productive life. Always, he referred to his Christian faith as his focus and goal in life.
In the early 1920s a young, bohemian agnostic acquired a back alley abortion that broke her heart, the cap on her morally feeble lifestyle. Although her life was devoted to social justice, she was operating outside of any bond with Christ. Later she came to believe that "worship, adoration, thanksgiving, supplication ... are the noblest acts of which we are capable in this life." She continued to work for the poor in New York City, establishing various organizations, some of which remain in operation today. Dorothy Day was brave enough to shake free of the bonds of secularism and offer her work over to Christ.
“Fill us at daybreak with your kindness,
that we may shout for joy and gladness all our days…
prosper the work of our hands for us, Lord.
Prosper the work of our hands!” Psalm 90:14-17
Advent Joy 2010
Last year during Advent a bad thing happened to my family. I think I can talk about it now. For a year I shoved it into a dark hole and refused to look at it, because it hurt like dull knives. I had saved the requisite several hundred dollars for Christmas shopping over a period of months---quite a feat on our income—and we were on our way, a rare trip with the whole family, to Portland where we would stay overnight, visit with relatives and shop for the perfect Christmas gifts. Somehow, even though I never carry my purse, I ended up leaving it in a gas station restroom along the I-5. There is no happy ending to this story. The money was never recovered and I spent the bedraggled, broken trip back home weeping like an insane woman in the back seat of the mini-van. I have rarely been so angry at myself.
There is however a very joyful ending to this story. At some point my middle daughter, Gemma said, “Mom, what have you always said Christmas is all about?” She was right, but it was so hard right then to accept. Readers of this column will recall that I usually write an anti-materialism rant about this time of the year. Well, this is all very fine to espouse when the means to material goods are there. Having it all completely and irrevocably stripped away put us to the test, and my beloved children and husband scored much higher than I. God eternal, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present, pure love, immeasurable in all quantities, chose to become a completely helpless infant, shivering on a bed of straw because somehow His becoming like me would raise me up to Him…and I find it rather stunning that someone who believes this could even blink when the packages are taken away. No wonder we Christians have trouble convincing the atheists.
St. Augustine said of God, “My heart is restless until it rests in you.” When our happiness is connected to things, we will forever be aching for something more. Joy is different from happiness. Joy is knowing that God is in love with the human race. It does not depend on having lots of things, or money or power or friends or health. It depends on knowing who you are in God’s eyes---eternally important, just little you. There is no true joy outside of knowing God. Many people want to know God on their own terms. God you are great, but stay over there please. God you are great but gimme the goodies now.
My youngest remarked randomly one day, “I wish I could be a fish eaten by God.” She gets it. This intense desire for God, to be completely consumed by God, is written on every person’s heart. To fill that God shaped hole with anything but a pure abandonment to the love of God, is to be forever—wanting.
There is however a very joyful ending to this story. At some point my middle daughter, Gemma said, “Mom, what have you always said Christmas is all about?” She was right, but it was so hard right then to accept. Readers of this column will recall that I usually write an anti-materialism rant about this time of the year. Well, this is all very fine to espouse when the means to material goods are there. Having it all completely and irrevocably stripped away put us to the test, and my beloved children and husband scored much higher than I. God eternal, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present, pure love, immeasurable in all quantities, chose to become a completely helpless infant, shivering on a bed of straw because somehow His becoming like me would raise me up to Him…and I find it rather stunning that someone who believes this could even blink when the packages are taken away. No wonder we Christians have trouble convincing the atheists.
St. Augustine said of God, “My heart is restless until it rests in you.” When our happiness is connected to things, we will forever be aching for something more. Joy is different from happiness. Joy is knowing that God is in love with the human race. It does not depend on having lots of things, or money or power or friends or health. It depends on knowing who you are in God’s eyes---eternally important, just little you. There is no true joy outside of knowing God. Many people want to know God on their own terms. God you are great, but stay over there please. God you are great but gimme the goodies now.
My youngest remarked randomly one day, “I wish I could be a fish eaten by God.” She gets it. This intense desire for God, to be completely consumed by God, is written on every person’s heart. To fill that God shaped hole with anything but a pure abandonment to the love of God, is to be forever—wanting.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Sex, Love and the Bible
Sex, Love and the Bible
My favorite movie is The Princess Bride. A quirky but timeless tale, it remains faithful to everyone’s belief in the triumph of true love. Yet, one scene bugs me. Princess Buttercup is about to marry loathsome Prince Humperdink and forever lose her true love, Wesley. The couple stands before the altar. A dour-faced bishop is droning some blah-blah words about marriage, illustrating his complete incapacity to understand love. This stereotype of a dull churchman unable to see the beauty of romance has been perpetuated by decades of Hollywood bias.
Our culture tends to see the Church as being toad-like when it comes to love, marriage, and sex, reducing the mystery to a dry list of rules. The truth is that the biblical view of sex is beautifully complete, thoroughly healing and gloriously uplifting. By contrast, today there is a lot of ugly associated with our sexuality and a lot of fear, shame, and brokenness. This goes with our stubborn insistence on doing it our way, rather than God’s way.
Our present experience is one of deep wounds. Marriage, meant to be sacred place of stability and security for couples and their children, has become an illusion. Sexual intimacy, rather than being bonding and life-giving, is often merely a means of self-gratification. New life has become a sacrificial offering on the altars of materialism. Children are abused, women objectified, and men are in bondage to lust. There seems to be no bottom to the demented way we misuse our bodies. Christopher West puts it simply: It is not that our culture over-values sex, but that we really have no idea how precious is its value. How can something so good have come to be used so badly?
The Pharisees challenged Jesus on the liberal divorce laws current at the time. “From the beginning,” replied Our Lord, “It was not so.” He pointed out to them that this state of affairs was a result of the hardness of their hearts. (Matthew 19)
What was different in the beginning? In the first two chapters of Genesis we find that humans, out of all creatures, were made in the image and likeness of God. They were created male and female, destined for one flesh union, and naked without shame. Following the story of God and man, from Genesis to Jesus, the late John Paul II discerned a theology of the body that I will attempt to summarize.
In the beginning, man and woman had no desire to use each other. There was no grasping or possessing. They had only the desire to give sincere gift of self to each other. There were no barriers to trust. They experienced a union of the physical and spiritual which gave them wholeness. Man and woman were, together, and un-muddied mirror of God’s pure love; their complemenarity, a message from the creator showing his desire for communion with us. Their natural response was to return that love to God and to each other.
When sin—selfish choice—entered the picture, the sacred was turned upside down. The human heart was hardened. Man and woman sought to cover their nakedness, as they could no longer look upon each other with a pure, selfless gaze and give glory to God. Their potential for using each other slithered between them, resulting in shame and fear. A search for fulfillment began—a never ending, downward spiral.
We can’t go back to our original innocence, but we can move forward to healing in the New Covenant. Men failed to see the true meaning of the body and Old Covenant law made temporary allowances for this. The New Covenant, however, calls us to transcend the law by conforming our hearts. In the New Law, a man who looks at a woman with lust in his heart, commits adultery. (Mt. 5:28) This is because the opposite of love is “use.” When you cease to see someone as a person, you begin to use that person as an object. No one is free when he or she is used or entrapped in the sin of using others.
To embrace the law in love is true freedom. Perfect love casts out fear and shame and selfishness. Now, the rules are necessary because we are a fallen race, but it is not the rules that will ultimately free us from lust and sexual bondage. When our hearts become conformed to the law, we will follow the Shepherd like carefree sheep, loving Him with our whole heart, soul and mind. We will no longer follow the law out of fear or guilt, but from the joy of living with Him who is our All. And it is then, that we will begin to be who we were meant to be “from the beginning.”
My favorite movie is The Princess Bride. A quirky but timeless tale, it remains faithful to everyone’s belief in the triumph of true love. Yet, one scene bugs me. Princess Buttercup is about to marry loathsome Prince Humperdink and forever lose her true love, Wesley. The couple stands before the altar. A dour-faced bishop is droning some blah-blah words about marriage, illustrating his complete incapacity to understand love. This stereotype of a dull churchman unable to see the beauty of romance has been perpetuated by decades of Hollywood bias.
Our culture tends to see the Church as being toad-like when it comes to love, marriage, and sex, reducing the mystery to a dry list of rules. The truth is that the biblical view of sex is beautifully complete, thoroughly healing and gloriously uplifting. By contrast, today there is a lot of ugly associated with our sexuality and a lot of fear, shame, and brokenness. This goes with our stubborn insistence on doing it our way, rather than God’s way.
Our present experience is one of deep wounds. Marriage, meant to be sacred place of stability and security for couples and their children, has become an illusion. Sexual intimacy, rather than being bonding and life-giving, is often merely a means of self-gratification. New life has become a sacrificial offering on the altars of materialism. Children are abused, women objectified, and men are in bondage to lust. There seems to be no bottom to the demented way we misuse our bodies. Christopher West puts it simply: It is not that our culture over-values sex, but that we really have no idea how precious is its value. How can something so good have come to be used so badly?
The Pharisees challenged Jesus on the liberal divorce laws current at the time. “From the beginning,” replied Our Lord, “It was not so.” He pointed out to them that this state of affairs was a result of the hardness of their hearts. (Matthew 19)
What was different in the beginning? In the first two chapters of Genesis we find that humans, out of all creatures, were made in the image and likeness of God. They were created male and female, destined for one flesh union, and naked without shame. Following the story of God and man, from Genesis to Jesus, the late John Paul II discerned a theology of the body that I will attempt to summarize.
In the beginning, man and woman had no desire to use each other. There was no grasping or possessing. They had only the desire to give sincere gift of self to each other. There were no barriers to trust. They experienced a union of the physical and spiritual which gave them wholeness. Man and woman were, together, and un-muddied mirror of God’s pure love; their complemenarity, a message from the creator showing his desire for communion with us. Their natural response was to return that love to God and to each other.
When sin—selfish choice—entered the picture, the sacred was turned upside down. The human heart was hardened. Man and woman sought to cover their nakedness, as they could no longer look upon each other with a pure, selfless gaze and give glory to God. Their potential for using each other slithered between them, resulting in shame and fear. A search for fulfillment began—a never ending, downward spiral.
We can’t go back to our original innocence, but we can move forward to healing in the New Covenant. Men failed to see the true meaning of the body and Old Covenant law made temporary allowances for this. The New Covenant, however, calls us to transcend the law by conforming our hearts. In the New Law, a man who looks at a woman with lust in his heart, commits adultery. (Mt. 5:28) This is because the opposite of love is “use.” When you cease to see someone as a person, you begin to use that person as an object. No one is free when he or she is used or entrapped in the sin of using others.
To embrace the law in love is true freedom. Perfect love casts out fear and shame and selfishness. Now, the rules are necessary because we are a fallen race, but it is not the rules that will ultimately free us from lust and sexual bondage. When our hearts become conformed to the law, we will follow the Shepherd like carefree sheep, loving Him with our whole heart, soul and mind. We will no longer follow the law out of fear or guilt, but from the joy of living with Him who is our All. And it is then, that we will begin to be who we were meant to be “from the beginning.”
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Foundations of Utopia
Foundations of Utopia
Free ice cream stores, recess all day, and no divorce. This is a partial list that the bright-eyed ten year olds in front of me were scribbling on their brainstorming papers. I worked with this lively bunch as part of a special program in college. With several other students, I visited local classrooms and encouraged the children to stretch their minds in crazy ways. One of our projects was creating a personalized utopia. Unlimited access to various desirable things figured prominently. Then there was that somber restriction—mom and dad wouldn’t be splitting up in this utopia. Selfish little creatures, huh? Of course not. Every child deserves the comfort and confidence of a stable family.
I am sure there are numerous studies on why the divorce rate is so high. Surely almost everyone who has gone through a divorce, wishes that they had made different choices or that life hadn’t dealt the cards they got. Divorce hurts men and women, as well as children. You don’t need a scientific study to measure hurt. It is everywhere around you, lying awake at night, sitting on bar stools, plodding through the daily grind, nursing wounds and grudges, staring blankly at a rain soaked sky, forever looking for true love and acceptance. While there are certainly some couples that have ended up together with disastrous results and need to be apart, solid marriage is really foundational to society, and should be encouraged.
People have a hard time with fidelity in marriage when they have grown used to unlimited gratification before marriage. Since many break-ups are the result of infidelity, my instinctive response is that we need to revisit the biblical concept of sex as sacred gift.
There are those who are sure that the recent rise in teen pregnancy must be the result of “kill-joy” abstinence programs. This is illogical. The aim of these programs is to instill in young people accountability and self-control, along with a deep sense of self worth and respect for themselves as intelligent, sexual beings. Yet, it is hard to overcome the tidal wave of promiscuity themes in the movies, high-profile presidential and super-star “improprieties,” along with magazine covers and TV ads that deliver a push-me-pull-you of promises for satisfying sexual encounters, advice on gaining the perfect body, and treating certain uncomfortable conditions.
The over-all cultural message is that sex, “any way you want it, that’s the way you need it,” is a foundational freedom. Some think that greater access to abortion and prophylactics is the answer to the problem of promiscuity. But broken relationships result in depression, distrust, anger, and diminished self-worth. There is no pharmaceutical answer to this pain. Heart, mind and soul need protection. Encouraging self-control, fostering a sense self worth and great respect for our bodies in the wonderful way God made them—this is the way to true healing. “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife; and the two of them become one body. The man and his wife were both naked yet they felt no shame.” Gen. 2:24-25
Free ice cream stores, recess all day, and no divorce. This is a partial list that the bright-eyed ten year olds in front of me were scribbling on their brainstorming papers. I worked with this lively bunch as part of a special program in college. With several other students, I visited local classrooms and encouraged the children to stretch their minds in crazy ways. One of our projects was creating a personalized utopia. Unlimited access to various desirable things figured prominently. Then there was that somber restriction—mom and dad wouldn’t be splitting up in this utopia. Selfish little creatures, huh? Of course not. Every child deserves the comfort and confidence of a stable family.
I am sure there are numerous studies on why the divorce rate is so high. Surely almost everyone who has gone through a divorce, wishes that they had made different choices or that life hadn’t dealt the cards they got. Divorce hurts men and women, as well as children. You don’t need a scientific study to measure hurt. It is everywhere around you, lying awake at night, sitting on bar stools, plodding through the daily grind, nursing wounds and grudges, staring blankly at a rain soaked sky, forever looking for true love and acceptance. While there are certainly some couples that have ended up together with disastrous results and need to be apart, solid marriage is really foundational to society, and should be encouraged.
People have a hard time with fidelity in marriage when they have grown used to unlimited gratification before marriage. Since many break-ups are the result of infidelity, my instinctive response is that we need to revisit the biblical concept of sex as sacred gift.
There are those who are sure that the recent rise in teen pregnancy must be the result of “kill-joy” abstinence programs. This is illogical. The aim of these programs is to instill in young people accountability and self-control, along with a deep sense of self worth and respect for themselves as intelligent, sexual beings. Yet, it is hard to overcome the tidal wave of promiscuity themes in the movies, high-profile presidential and super-star “improprieties,” along with magazine covers and TV ads that deliver a push-me-pull-you of promises for satisfying sexual encounters, advice on gaining the perfect body, and treating certain uncomfortable conditions.
The over-all cultural message is that sex, “any way you want it, that’s the way you need it,” is a foundational freedom. Some think that greater access to abortion and prophylactics is the answer to the problem of promiscuity. But broken relationships result in depression, distrust, anger, and diminished self-worth. There is no pharmaceutical answer to this pain. Heart, mind and soul need protection. Encouraging self-control, fostering a sense self worth and great respect for our bodies in the wonderful way God made them—this is the way to true healing. “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife; and the two of them become one body. The man and his wife were both naked yet they felt no shame.” Gen. 2:24-25
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)